Every time I read this I get hung up thinking "bow" as in "boat front" instead of "arrow tosser." I wonder if it could be called something clearer; I don't think "longbow" would fit...I dunno.
Every time I read this I get hung up thinking "bow" as in "boat front" instead of "arrow tosser." I wonder if it could be called something clearer; I don't think "longbow" would fit...I dunno.
The particular sort of bow used in kyūdō is called a yumi; could go with that.
I implemented the changes mentioned above, but it still doesn't read very well. I think it has to do with a mismatch between bow/yumi and "in maintenance". I'm not sure if I can explain what I mean very well, but I'll try.
Basically, in regard to their ship-like attributes and functions, ship-girls operate on two levels: First is "ship-literal", when they refer directly to warship properties and activities, even though it doesn't strictly make sense for them to be applied to a humanoid. A carrier launches actual planes, a cruiser fires actual torpedoes, etc. The second is "ship-meta", when warship properties and activities are represented metaphorically by connecting them to human properties and activities. Repair is bathing, refueling/resupplying is eating, ship size/class is school grade level/age, etc. Each level also has associated language, in general the former being much more technical and the latter more informal.
What causes problems is when the two levels clash by using language from one to describe something on the other. In this case, Akagi's bow/yumi is "ship-meta" for her catapult and launch equipment, but is modified by the expression "in maintenance", which is "ship-literal". The problem is exacerbated, but not caused, by "bow" also having a "ship-literal" meaning.
The solution in this case, I think, is to convert "in maintenance" to "ship-meta": something like "being restrung".
I implemented the changes mentioned above, but it still doesn't read very well. I think it has to do with a mismatch between bow/yumi and "in maintenance". I'm not sure if I can explain what I mean very well, but I'll try.
Basically, in regard to their ship-like attributes and functions, ship-girls operate on two levels: First is "ship-literal", when they refer directly to warship properties and activities, even though it doesn't strictly make sense for them to be applied to a humanoid. A carrier launches actual planes, a cruiser fires actual torpedoes, etc. The second is "ship-meta", when warship properties and activities are represented metaphorically by connecting them to human properties and activities. Repair is bathing, refueling/resupplying is eating, ship size/class is school grade level/age, etc. Each level also has associated language, in general the former being much more technical and the latter more informal.
What causes problems is when the two levels clash by using language from one to describe something on the other. In this case, Akagi's bow/yumi is "ship-meta" for her catapult and launch equipment, but is modified by the expression "in maintenance", which is "ship-literal". The problem is exacerbated, but not caused, by "bow" also having a "ship-literal" meaning.
The solution in this case, I think, is to convert "in maintenance" to "ship-meta": something like "being restrung".
矢 is arrow*. Serendipitiously, changing the translation also removes the mismatch.
(*Likely got misread as "bow" due to both being in the same semantic 'space', a type of mistake I'm also guilty of sometimes. Including here, because I definitely read this comic before but failed to notice the discrepancy back then.)
矢 is arrow*. Serendipitiously, changing the translation also removes the mismatch.
(*Likely got misread as "bow" due to both being in the same semantic 'space', a type of mistake I'm also guilty of sometimes. Including here, because I definitely read this comic before but failed to notice the discrepancy back then.)
Then may I make a slight suggestion?
At the moment, my arrows are in maintenance — I don't have even a single plane, you see...
->
At the moment, all my "arrows" are in maintenance — I don't have even a single plane, you see...
This makes it clear that Akagi is using arrows metaphorically.
Whatever should we do?Oh yes, with a high-speed battleship coming along, there's nothing to worry about. Let's go, shall we?Akagi-san! How about a trip with Haruna!It will be fine!
Haruna will come with you!With Haruna-chan helping out, the housework sure went quickly, didn't it.Yes! The birdies, and a new friend that Haruna gave Akagi-san's cushion to!Thank you for all the help, Haruna-chan.The Story of Akagi and Wo-classFriends?Haruna wants to introduce Akagi-san to her friends!...ah, but going out on the open seas is...
At the moment, my arrows are in maintenance — I don't have even a single plane, you see...
