Too much Kanji ...
Someone please correct all the outrageous mistakes I have surely made !!

(Also, I've seen a few occurences of people saying it's better to leave things untranslated than to try a partial/inaccurate translation. I completely see the point, but since this has been waiting for almost two years I figured I might as well try, in the worst (best ?) case someone will get mad at me and correct my mistakes !)