The commentary is of little value. Someone that follows the game may have to read into this.
I don't follow the game, but Luke 1 alluded to it - the biggest joke here is that they're repainting lower-grade gacha boxes as higher-grade ones, the most egregious being Laffey repainting a "tech 3" box as a golden box.
There's also poor Unicorn looking traumatized as she's being sold at 20% off, though if there's an Azur Lane in-joke beyond the obvious, it's lost on me. Of course, maybe it's a greenteaneko in-joke...
EDIT: Maybe the 20% off part is a greenteaneko in-joke in its own right...
They do keep giving free Unicorns to new players who sign up during certain time periods (though I managed to miss those and didn't get her until way later), so it could be related to that.
As for the boxes, that's a common joke due to the way the box tiering works, the gold boxes are guaranteed to give at least a purple, with small chance of a gold (and purple boxes guaranteed to give at least a blue, with small chance of a purple). Of course people on a bad streak of luck feel like the gold boxes give nothing but purples.
