There's no such thing as "enough eye-related puns". Anyway, the "I felt her body heat wane away with my own hands" line gave me this funny tingly feeling, I might need to re-watch some of the MSMM eps... or at least listen to the OST for a bit.

hooray i'm good at writing non-literal translations~

And yes, this doujin and a few others inspired me to check out the prettier Blu-ray episodes.